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ask_me_anything

[sticky post] Sticky Post

Mar. 16th, 2012 | 06:10 pm
posted by: tma in ask_me_anything

Welcome to Ask Me Anything, a community for asking, and answering, some of life's less Googleable questions.

If you're new, please check out the community profile. As with an empty swimming pool, there's just a few things we'd like you to be aware of before diving in head first.

Feel free to join us on our IRC channel - the chat channel details are in the profile page above. Mibbit and browser add-ins like ChatZilla are easy ways to get into it even for the non-tech-savvy!

30/11/14 Current Community Events and Info:

I was going to write something inspiring here but it's not like anyone's even here to read it.

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burning bridges

Dec. 9th, 2012 | 10:00 pm
posted by: leskay in ask_me_anything

When's the last time you got in a really horrible fight with a friend, family member, or other loved one that basically ended the relationship? What was the fight about?

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(no subject)

Nov. 2nd, 2012 | 12:45 pm
posted by: cindyanne1 in ask_me_anything

You have an apartment with fully carpeted stairs.  You don't own a vacuum cleaner, and the stairs are getting pretty dusty.  So you ask your friend to borrow her vacuum, and she lets you have it.

You return the vacuum with the cord damaged from where you had let the machine sit on the cord while you used the hose attachment to vacuum your stairs.  It sat on it for at least twenty to thirty minutes, enough to completely chew through the outer covering of the cord in two places, each about two inches long.  The machine still works, but the inner cords are exposed.  Do you:

1) Apologize and offer to buy your friend a new vacuum.

2) Apologize and offer to buy your friend a roll of electrical tape to fix the cord.

3) Laugh about it and tell your friend she can easily fix it with electrical tape, so what's the big deal?


This happened to me many years ago, I was the friend.  I got #3, and when I acted incredulous that she would return my vacuum in that condition so flippantly, she told me she couldn't afford to buy me a new vacuum or buy the electrical tape (I would have been perfectly happy with a roll of electrical tape) and how could I even ask for either one since it was just an accident!   

(I remembered all of this just now when I was vacuuming my couch and had to move the cord from under the vacuum.)

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High-drama friends

Oct. 23rd, 2012 | 10:51 pm
posted by: silver05 in ask_me_anything

I'm 25 years old and have a 21-year-old friend, who is a perfectly sweet, pretty girl, with a diverse set of interests and an active social life. She's also single, as in, she's never even had a boyfriend. She's also the sort of girl who posts self-portraits of herself on facebook all the time.

I've known her for about a year now; in that time, she's rejected two different guys. One was a former coworker of ours who is a total [your choice of rude word], the other was a perfectly attractive, very nice guy who had been chasing after her for two years. I recently introduced her to a coworker of mine at my new job. He's not the sharpest tool in the drawer, and his incredible energy wears me out, but again, he's a perfectly nice guy, they had a lot in common, seemed to want the same things in a relationship, and they clicked right away. And then she rejected him because he was too into her.

Then she posts facebook statuses like this one all the time:

"When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible."
"If a guy is treating you like he doesn't give a shit, then he genuinely doesn't give a shit."

Yeah, I believe both. When a guy shows real interest you can tell he's honestly interested or he honestly cares. When he doesn't even seem to try, then he doesn't give a shit about you, or he's over you. The first situation I miss, the second I'm sick of experiencing.


AMA, at this point I am so tired of giving a shit. I want to give her a big dose of Reality and say that at this point she's just being a whiny bitch, that she doesn't have trouble meeting guys and that all her problems are being caused by her own self. I understand not wanting to date someone -- but whining about being single when you pretty much hop, skip, and jump over potential suitors all the time is something else entirely. Maybe right now I'm too annoyed, but I can't think of any polite way to bring this up. Any suggestions? Or should I just continue ignoring it?

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(no subject)

Oct. 21st, 2012 | 08:57 pm
posted by: stinkky in ask_me_anything

I started uni in September and since then everyone on my course, including the much older people who don't give me the time of day, have tried to add me as a 'friend' on facebook. 
I find this really weird and annoying, how do you feel about stuff like this? If not uni, imagine everyone at your job is adding you. 

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Annoying relationship question

Oct. 18th, 2012 | 05:18 pm
posted by: foreversmilin in ask_me_anything

This is a failed foray into life.

So, I met this chick back in July. We dated for about 2 weeks before she realized she didn't feel about me the way she wanted to in order to continue dating. OK, that stung, but whatever, it was only 2 weeks, so I figured I'd move on. But no, instead we decided to be friends with benefits. I knew that I was walking into a minefield because she didn't and doesn't feel about me the way I feel about her. When we're not together, I'm constantly checking my phone to see if she texted me and I stare at my gchat at work waiting for her to message me. Each night we spend together I feel worse and worse because I'm finding myself falling for her and she's as stoic and emotionally distant as she ever was. She has no interest in a relationship and only spends time with me when it's convenient - she never really goes out of her way to see me. I've recently started dating, but still, this girl is always on my mind. All of my friends say to cut her out of my life and I know that's what I need to do, but how?  How do I have that conversation with her?  For those who have been in this situation before (on either side), can you tell me about your experience?

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What would you think/do in this situation?

Aug. 2nd, 2012 | 10:04 am
posted by: glortw in ask_me_anything

So I'm friends with this girl. Not close close friends, but we've hung out a few times, we talk online. She's moving to California in a few weeks. So we were talking on facebook about how I've never been to The Cheesecake Factory and she was like "Well I'm free this weekend if you want to go". So I said okay. Then she mentioned it was her birthday Wednesday so her parents were probably taking her there, but she didn't mind going twice in a week because the menu was so big or something. This made me think..does she expect me to pay for her meal because her birthday was a few days ago? I understand that if we were best friends, I should, but I've hung out with her a total of maybe 4 times, and two of those times were in group, and I'm REALLY BROKE. Like, borrowing the money from my mom just to pay for my meal. (You may say "If you're that broke, just don't go.." but I feel I should, because I want to see her one last time before she moves and I might never see her again. And my mother offered.) Anyway, I know it's the RIGHT thing to do to buy her meal, but I looked at their prices, and I just don't see how I can swing it. How can I somehow find out if she expects this? Or explain that I'd love to, and I feel really bad that I wasn't able to get her anything for her birthday, but I just can't manage it? I mean, my best friend in the world and I don't exchange birthday gifts. I don't care about that stuff..but I'm afraid since this girl's birthday just happened, she might assume I'm taking her out for her birthday. I'm hoping since she came up with the idea, she doesn't think of it as me "taking her out" but I have no way of knowing. How can I find out if she expects me to pay, and if so, explain that I'd really love to and feel really bad, but I just can't? Or, should I just not go rather than not be able to buy both our meals? Thanks.

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(no subject)

Jul. 19th, 2012 | 05:01 pm
posted by: a_sailors_dream in ask_me_anything

FEEL FREE TO ADD ME!

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We can't be friends if you're going to hell

May. 18th, 2012 | 10:22 pm
posted by: vidmaker_19 in ask_me_anything

Woman said to me: "Are you a Christian? Because I don't associate with anyone who is not a true follower of Christ. I don't want to get attached to someone I know is going to boil in hell for eternity. It would just be sad to me."

How would you react to this?

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unwanted friends

Feb. 7th, 2012 | 06:24 pm
posted by: miss_october in ask_me_anything

Ever had someone, who you didn't really care for, try to be your friend or want to hang out? Say like a co-worker (or classmate), who you have to see fairly regularly.

AND, how did you go about putting them off, without hurting their feelings?

(I'm not really talking about people interested in you romantically, just friends.)

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(no subject)

Dec. 19th, 2011 | 12:07 am
posted by: cinemaaa in ask_me_anything

moral question:

Let's pretend we are in a perfect world where things happen exactly as I will outline below.

You have a friend you know, some may even say this person is your best friend. They come to you one day in desperation. They need a safe place to go, and home is not an option due to lack of safety at home. Either they freeze in the freezing, extreme biting cold outside or they go home to the unsafe situation.

You have a home that is safe. Your friend's been here thousands of times! But on this day, they have their boyfriend (they cannot leave behind, let's say he is glued to their side for this night) with them and you hate this boyfriend.

1) Do you take the person in anyways, to prevent them from going home to an unsafe environment? The boyfriend you dislike has to come to your house, too. No other option here.

2) Say you don't and they go home (because the weather is very extreme and cold). They face a dangerous situation and tell you after the fact. Do you feel guilty?

thank you guys (:

EDIT: please note that your friend and her bf only have to stay for about 2-3 hours, until it is safe to go home
*(please don't ask for too many details, it's a pretty long and personal story!)

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(no subject)

Nov. 20th, 2011 | 02:38 pm
posted by: ditaykan in ask_me_anything

How do you deal with a parent (or friend or other close person) who is constantly insulting your body? Especially when you know they'll get huffy and defensive and justify everything they've been saying if you object.

Inspired by my mom.Collapse )

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Letting them down nicely

Oct. 29th, 2011 | 04:38 pm
posted by: morriganscross in ask_me_anything

What's a nice but assertive way to tell a friend you don't want them moving in with you and your boyfriend because you'd then want to strangle them at some point? Any ideas?

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(no subject)

Oct. 15th, 2011 | 06:28 pm
posted by: ex_swaggerd in ask_me_anything

The sitch: you and a friend of 17 years rent appliances from the same place. Your friend moves without telling them and now they can't find her. So one day you go in to pay your bill and they offer you a month off all payments (we have 2) if you give up her address. You know she'd accept the offer in a heartbeat if the tables were turned. Do you do it?

ETA: Would it make a difference if this so-called "friend" in question isn't a very good friend towards you and has pretty questionable morals?

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Serious question

Sep. 23rd, 2011 | 02:45 pm
location: China, Heilongjiang Sheng, Harbin
posted by: la0wai in ask_me_anything

Gentlemen, I beseech you. What advice do you have for guys who aren't good at meeting women at bars/clubs anywhere?

This buddy I've got here at the moment just sank a sure thing because (this is my theory) he can't stop second guessing himself. I'm like, What's wrong? Out of shit to talk about? (That's what he gets for not studying Chinese.) Just choose something mundane and try to use it as another in. But you have to move! You can't keep boring her! But he's being a pansy.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

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help I really hate college but I still want my diploma

Sep. 20th, 2011 | 12:47 pm
posted by: h3nnahair in ask_me_anything

This is my 4th time going to college and im 23, i cant quit because i have a student loan. i am getting really upset by the people there wherever i go somewhere someones talking about their sex life and I really dont want to hear it. i cant like interrupt them and be like.. hey i dont want to hear that (its disgusting). It really bothers me. does annyone have any advice

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(no subject)

Sep. 5th, 2011 | 05:50 pm
posted by: ex_swaggerd in ask_me_anything

Have you ever ran into an old friend or acquaintance in public and stopped to talk to them only to realize halfway through your conversation that they think you're someone else? Did you remind them who you are or did you just play along? How did their mistake make you feel? This happened to me at the grocery store when I saw the mom of an old friend of mine and I feel a little stupid about the whole thing.

On a similar note, have you ever been the one to make the mistake?

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(no subject)

Sep. 3rd, 2011 | 02:04 pm
posted by: c0ntrolyourself in ask_me_anything

Have you ever considered the possibility that maybe you don't actually like your friends?

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ketchup

Aug. 2nd, 2011 | 09:58 pm
mood: crazy
music: White Collar
posted by: victor_szasz in ask_me_anything

If you could choose one of your friends, based on the criteria they're the only available food you'll have, who among them would help you survive the longest?

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(no subject)

Jul. 24th, 2011 | 03:29 pm
posted by: backwithalimp in ask_me_anything

You and three other friends are planning to celebrate a birthday. A special romantic interest calls and wants to see you that same evening. Do you tell the caller that you're busy?

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Social networks

Jul. 15th, 2011 | 11:43 am
posted by: tinuviel in ask_me_anything

Have you ever deleted someone in a huff from a social network site? How about as an indication that you want to terminate the friendship? Will you tell us the story behind it?

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(no subject)

May. 8th, 2011 | 11:48 am
posted by: bdoing in ask_me_anything

Okay, so backstory before my question: I went out with a guy in September, and ever since he's been asking me out, flirting with me, and generally ignoring the numerous times I've told him that it's not gonna happen. I've been referring to him as 'my stalker' for a while, although I've been trying to stop that partially because it's not really at that level of creepy, and because I was genuinely trying to stay friends with him.

Long story short, he never really stopped being creepy, and today (because he said something along the lines of 'when we went to that movie together, I could smell your pheromones and I knew you were nearby', I kid you not), I blocked him on MSN/Twitter and unfriended him on Facebook.

Have any of you had someone crush on you to the extent that it got creepy before, or had to completely block someone from all modes of communication with you? How do you deal with something like an email afterwards, or the next time I see him in person (which, while not incredibly common, occasionally happens)?

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How to confront a cyber-stalker?

Mar. 28th, 2011 | 07:38 pm
mood: frustrated
posted by: paflicka in ask_me_anything

Hi AMA,

so I have a used-to-be-my-highschool-classmate and apparently he likes me and some of my friends to the point is considered to be creepy. He really REALLY likes to stalk our twitter/facebook and gave us a pseudo names which he would use it to make a story of us and that story includes our twitter/facebook status updates. Like, example, one of my friend ranted on twitter how she was being clumsy for not bringing her house key with her and locked outside. THEN this guy would suddenly write on his twitter like this "Apparently *insert pseudo name for my friend here* is locked outside. I wonder if she blah blah blah..." 

He would write something like this for almost EVERYDAY and it needs to be stopped! For the sake of his life and our lives. I feel disgusted because somehow it feels like.....my privacy was being violated. No offense, but this guy is that kind of guy who likes to watch hentai, anime porn, and I see him as a person who...see a girl/woman as an object. That's why it's REALLY SCARY to have him stalked/made a story out of me and my friend's status updates. 

What's the best approach to tell him that he need to get over us and live his life? What would you do if you were me?

Thanks :)

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Facebook purgatory

Mar. 7th, 2011 | 05:36 pm
posted by: mofoburrell in ask_me_anything

Sorry for those of you who don't use Facebook. You suck.

What are your standards for accepting a friend invitation on Facebook? Have you ever denied anyone? Do you prefer to deny them or just let them sit in purgatory for a while not responding?

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(no subject)

Feb. 6th, 2011 | 02:34 pm
posted by: mofoburrell in ask_me_anything

Have you ever had a lot of people say they were going to come to your party and then no one showed up? What did you do?

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In need of advice

Jan. 13th, 2011 | 09:03 pm
posted by: natalie_1978 in ask_me_anything

I have what I consider a very close friend, we've been friends for almost 5 yrs and used to work together. We usually only communicate thru txt or facebook daily, unless we meet up for lunch or shopping, since we no longer work together.    For the last year or so (this includes about 6mos while we were still working together) when i txt her about anything she always responds with what I consider short cold responses.

Example:

Me: Hey, I just wanted to see if u wanted to go shopping.

Her: NO

or she has said things like

"Im reading a book" in response to any question I send or invite etc.
 
never really answering the question. A lot of times she doesnt respond to my txts I dont know how to take this so I back off thinking maybe I irritated her.   So after I back off for a few days she'll text me a million times and expect replies.  We are both in our early 30's so I really dont want this to seem like some high school drama.  I dont know if I should just cut her out of mylife or if Im the only one that considers these responses as rude.

any idea?

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(no subject)

Nov. 3rd, 2010 | 09:05 am
mood: confused
posted by: angi_is_altered in ask_me_anything

Have you ever had to end a friendship due to issues that has nothing to do with the friend themselves?

example: friend's SO

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How are we friends, again?

Oct. 25th, 2010 | 01:47 pm
posted by: jesuisjill in ask_me_anything

Basically, my question is: Am I being ridiculous?

Now, the background info you're going to need want possibly feel is important: I have a friend, we'll call her Rachael (name not changed for reasons of not giving a shit), I've "known" her (online) for years. (Around the 7 year mark, give or take.) For the first 3 or so years of our friendship, I lived in Canada and she moved around a few places in the midwest. I ended up dating (4 years ago) and marrying (so, I live here now) a guy in her state.

We live, literally, 15 minutes away from her, and she & I have never met. This, in itself, is not the thing I take issue with. She can't be bothered to meet me, hang out, whatever, though she's been invited to do so more times than I can count. I've also been in her apartment complex, at her front door, after being invited over to drop off a Christmas present, only to stand there like a complete tool with my husband, and leaving it at her door, because she wasn't home. She's been blocks away from my home, with an open invitation to stop by if she ever feels like it, and still.. nothing. All of this, but she has no problems meeting random guys from the internet to hang with, make out with, fuck, a date for two weeks. (“If I were a single male, willing to put my penis in her, she would've met me years ago.” is a running joke.)

I'm to the point where I'm sick of putting so much one-sided effort into trying to be her friend that I'm ready to just give up and move on. So, am I being ridiculous?

Extra Credit: During our friendship, she's had bouts of, I don't know what, and would completely and randomly ignore me, my husband, and another mutual friend of ours for weeks, months, years at a time. (The mutual friend she's been ignoring for about 4 years.) The year I started dating my husband, she got randomly pissed off and ignored me through my entire trip here (We had made plans to meet up.) and months afterwards. She's met my husband, (before I started dating him.) and used him as a personal reference on a resume. (Which is one of the reasons she began talking to me again for a short period of time.) We've been on speaking terms since March of this year. (Additionally, throughout her period of ignoring me, I still made attempts to contact her to make sure she was alright, wishing her happy birthday/merry Christmas/etc., check on her dad's status (he had been diagnosed with cancer before she starting blowing me off), etc. without any replies.)

I KNOW, tl;dr of "wtf, I don't understand this crap." proportions.

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(no subject)

May. 6th, 2010 | 02:07 pm
posted by: mrflagg in ask_me_anything



How do you prefer them?

French Fried
25(26.3%)
in Salad
2(2.1%)
as chips
9(9.5%)
au gratin
9(9.5%)
as pancakes
5(5.3%)
mashed
34(35.8%)
hashed
8(8.4%)
curried
1(1.1%)
in soup
2(2.1%)
mapled
0(0.0%)

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