More help with meals

It seems like we get a lot of these cooking-related questions lately. Here's my dilemma:

From lunch on July 23rd until dinner on July 29th I will be unable to cook anything. That's seven days of no cooking. I will have no pots, no pans, no cookie sheets, no cake pans, no microwave, no stand mixer, no large bowls, nothing. I will have an oven, but nothing to put the food in inside the oven. This means that the most I can use the oven for is pre-packaged meals from the frozen section of the grocery store (ick) or toasting bread. I do not want to go out to eat for every meal for seven days and will not even entertain that as an option at this point in time.

What the fuck am I going to feed my family of three (me, boyfriend & 14 year old daughter) for seven days with no cooking equipment in the house?