I'm trying to figure out why my crush on a professor is so intense. It's probably the most intense one I've had this year. I had him as a prof from January through mid-March, but I still think about him a lot. I mean, when I first saw him, I wasn't like, "OMFG, I want to jump him!" He's relatively attractive, but I didn't develop a crush on him until several weeks into the quarter. I just thought it was so hot that he was so hard on students. Even if students didn't do well, he was relentless; I've had a lot of profs who started to grade easier or made their material easier if students started to not do well, but he remained tough throughout the quarter even if students complained. He was considered an asshole among a lot of students, and my peers didn't understand why I like him as a teacher so much. A lot of people didn't do well in his class. I don't want to sound annoying, but I scored the highest in his class. I always tried my hardest because getting a good grade in his class felt better than getting an easy A. He was always sarcastic and mean, but witty as fuck. He also had this sexy confidence and degraded students in such a hot, funny way. I loved his asshole arrogance, and he was so smooth about it. He always told me to have more confidence, too, and I think it's because of him that I fake confidence more. Oh, and he invested a lot of time in helping me in his office hours, but I realized that it was more him telling me that my work was great and all and me asking him if this or that was okay. If it matters, he's in his early 30's, and I'm 19-20.
When he left my school to teach elsewhere, I gave him a thank-you letter telling him how he helped me grow, and later when I unexpectedly ran into him, he said, "Thank you for your letter. I will keep it forever."
Anyway, I just don't understand why I still think about him even after he's out of my life. I do have some guys pursuing me, but even if they are kind of cute, I don't know why it's never as intense as my prof crush. The sad thing is that I developed a liking for the smell of cigarettes because of him, and I never liked it before; he's a smoker and always smelled like that. God, I hope that wasn't TMI/inappropriate.
So my questions are the following: 1.) Why do you think professor crushes can be more intense, as with this situation? I'm really trying to figure out the psychology of all of this.
2.) Have you ever had a crush on an instructor? Tell us about it and how it went.
3.) What else do you have to comment regarding this situation or idea?